Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
