Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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