isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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