Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
