actually, I'm a sock model
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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