I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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