I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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