I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
