I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
