I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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