Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
