Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
