her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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