Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
