just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
