He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
