I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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