the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
