you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it glows. i had to have it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize