I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize