can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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