It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
