i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I wear drunk well.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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