she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
