she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
