I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
so much tequila, so little girl.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
