The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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