Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
