I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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