Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
