Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
