you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
