My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I wish there were birth control emojis
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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