so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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