whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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