So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
