dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I need a beard to bite.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
