sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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