Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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