I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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