i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
