Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize