I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize