I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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