i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize