Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
