There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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