need another drink. this is the easiest way
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
