Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
a search helicopter?!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
