I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
