Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
