I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This baby is an asshole
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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