i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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