I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize