Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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