Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
