You're completely useless in the revolution.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
