is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
