One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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