my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize