theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
