What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you inspire me to be a worse person
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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