Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
