I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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